Subscribe via RSS Feed Connect on Pinterest Connect on Google Plus Connect on Flickr Connect on LinkedIn

Husbands: The Power of Your Words

July 22, 2013 11 Comments

vintage coupleHusbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. – Ephesians 5:25-30

 It seems like we hear all the time that “Wives should submit to their husbands” but very few people quote the husbands responsibility over their wives. The verses above, especially vs 26 is key. The word of Christ cleanses the church and our words should do the same for our wives. 

 I am not a marriage expert but I have been married for 26 years. Husbands we have to fully realize that our words have power. We can speak words that build up our wives or words that tear them down. God’s word is clear that we are to speak words of life, words that clean and words that heal. 

 To speak words that cleanse: 

 Love your wife as Jesus loves his church. Lay down your life for your wife.

  • As I give my life for her I find the peace of living out my calling as a husband.
  • I give my life, but I gain so much  more in return.

Remember your wedding vows.

Think before you speak – Yeah I know it has become a cliche’ but it still holds true. 

  • Do not speak out of anger.
  • When you speak, speak with boldness.

Be proactive and intentional – do not leave your marriage up for chance.

  •  Speak positive words over your wife each and every day.
  • Do not even allow yourself to think negatively about your wife.
  • Be thankful – be sure you always recognize what she does as a wife and a mother.
  • Be consistent.
  • Write notes on occasion.
  • May a day never pass where you do not tell your wife you love her. (Tweet This)
  • Do not let a day pass where you do not pray for your wife.  (Tweet This)
  • Ask for forgiveness when you fail.
  • Expect nothing in return.
  • Be positive no matter what circumstances you may be going through.
  • Do not try and manipulate a response from your wife.


Our words have power, so choose to build up and encourage your wife each and every day. Just like the words of Christ let your words bring life. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you and give you the strength to be the husband God has called you to. 

 If you are having to deal with a negative marriage, don’t give up and don’t try and go it alone. Be tenacious over your marriage no matter what. Reach out to guys whose marriages are strong and who  you can trust. Find those seasoned couples who can help you along. Seek out counseling if needed.  God has called you to have strong marriage. 

 Let your words be cleaning words. 


Your voice is important; I would love to hear from you.

 What will you do today to speak cleansing words over your wife?

 PS. Don’t miss out. Sign up for free updates. Then be sure and connect on Facebook!

Filed in: Faith, Life

About the Author:

I am enthusiastic about helping others discover their purpose and grow into a deeper relationship with Jesus. It is great to see their eyes light up at their “Ah Ha!” moment when they discover they were created for something more. My hope is that this blog will help encourage and inspire you along your way. Join the conversation and take the time to share with me your own story. I have been married to my beautiful wife Janice for over 25 years. We currently live in Stockbridge Georgia with two of our children Matt and Victoria. Our oldest Chris has left the nest. Of course we cannot forget about our dog Taffy.
  • Bryan Van Slyke

    Great Post Jon! I have only been married for 7 years, but have learned and agree that we must build up our wives and do it often! Thanks for this and keep it up!

    • Hi Bryan, congratulations on your 7 years and thanks for joining in on the conversation. I am glad you enjoyed the post.

  • DS

    You offer up some great points in the post. One of the things that can help or hinder is trust. Our words may not carry the same weight if we’ve destroyed trust in the past. So part of this could be a process of rebuilding that trust.

    • You are so right DS about trust. Trust can be lost in a moment, but it can only be regained with much effort. As husbands we have to work hard to make sure hour wives can always trust us. Even more reason to make sure we are always clearly communicating.

      Thank you for taking the time to comment.

  • Great message John. I’ve always struggled with being positive with my words, even to my wife. I’m trying to learn to speak better with her. This post was a reminder I needed.

    • Hi Joe, I am glad the post helped. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction.

  • Great reminder Jon!!! The words we speak have power to bring life or death into our marriage or relationships. It’s so important to be intentional about speaking life (while asking forgiveness when we don’t).

    • Our marriages can’t be left up for chance. To be honest some days love is a choice. We have to be intentional to make the right choice. Sadly too many marriages fail because they are built on emotions.

      • I totally agree, being married for over 6 years has taught me a lot. Yes, some days it requires being intentional and loving.

  • Wow, I could read this everyday. Thanks for this reminder. Marriage is such a big deal. It deserves more focus. Thank you!

    • It is a big deal but sadly in our society it has become something that is easily discarded. Thank you for taking time to comment.